These past few months have been extremely hectic in terms of weddings. From what I can remember, I attended 4 full weddings (3 days each), as well as 4 engagements, as well as several single walima and rukhsati ceremonies here and there, adding up to roughly over 17 wedding related events. This blog post is going to be quite different in comparison to what I usually post on this blog, however, I feel like this needs to be addressed. The following is a list of all the things I've learned this wedding season:
1. Things don't always go as planned.
Okay, let's be honest, who doesn't have an ideal image in their minds of what they want their wedding to be like? We grow up with this dream of 'finding our true love and having a huge wedding' because of how often we see it in movies and TV shows. I'm not gonna lie, I have an entire board on Pinterest dedicated to my wedding (Insha'Allah). However, we all have to realize that simple weddings are stressed in Islam. Also, the more we focus on everything being perfect, the more likely it is that we'll end up being disappointed. Whether that means "a child knocking over something from your wedding decor" or "audio and video problems," things will always go wrong in one way or another. Basically, don't let those little things ruin your day. Always remember that everything may not go as planned, but when you look back on you wedding day, those things will be the least important.
2. The amount of food that is wasted.
Weddings usually go something like this:
By the time the food is served everyone is usually starving, hence they fill their plates up assuming that they'll be able to get through it all. Trust me, I'm guilty of doing this as well. However, we later realize that the food was too much and proceed to hand our half-filled plate over to the waiter, who then throws it out. Just remember, that the food we waste is another person's meal. If we don't put enough food in our plates, we can always get up and get more. However, if we put too much in our plates, chances are it's going to be wasted. So take what you want, but eat what you take.
3. When namaz is missed.
Oftentimes, weddings are held around Asr, Maghrib & Ishaa prayer. There's only been one wedding that I've attended before where prayer has been offered at the wedding. Why is it that prayer (something that should never be missed) is missed on a day that's so important? It's a day that starts a new chapter in the couple's life, and you're going to start it without prayer? Think of all the prayers and blessings the couple could earn on their wedding day by setting aside 10 minutes for Namaz. Chances are, when you come home from a wedding at 10 or 11PM you're going to be extremely tired, this in itself can be an excuse for some people to miss prayer. I personally believe that Namaz should be a part of the wedding.
4. Male photographers.
As a female photographer myself, I can assure you that in Canada, UK and even the US, finding a female photographer isn't too difficult. It can be extremely uncomfortable for the female side of the hall, when a male is taking pictures. Also, the bride and groom, if getting pictures taken, shouldn't do so with a male photographer, as this goes against purdah (especially if the bride wears a hijab). If you can, try to hire a female photographer. From my experience, Ahmadi weddings with female photographers tend to be a lot more comfortable for all the women present, in comparison to a male photographer. However, if you do need to a hire a male photographer, they shouldn't be coming to the female side of the hall.
5. Jealous guests.
Unfortunately, there's always the few guests who aren't genuinely happy for the couple, due to personal reasons or mere jealousy. Don't let them ruin your day! You did your part by setting aside all differences and inviting them, now they should do the same. Just remember what our Prophet (pbuh) taught, to "Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood".
All this aside, I definitely enjoyed each and every wedding that I attended, and congratulate all of the couples! Weddings are a huge blessing in Islam, but let's try not to incorporate traditions which go against Islamic teachings. A quote that I like to remember is, "If the Holy Prophet (saw) was invited to your wedding, would he have attended"?
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