Ever wake up in the morning with messages from random guys in your DM's (social media - direct messages)? These direct messages can vary all the way from a marriage proposal, how you should dress, how you should act, how you should feel as a convert, or them asking you if you know any single converts for them to marry.
These are the type of messages that can be received on a daily, to a Female Muslim Convert (or basically any Muslim Woman.) Several sisters have spoken to me about these types of messages and how some Muslim men try to take advantage of Female Converts. One sister in particular asked me to write a blog post about it. Keep in mind, this article is NOT to generalize all Muslim Men. Only the specific few.
Convert sisters, please read this article very closely. It contains some necessary advice that you will need, especially if you are a new Muslim or looking into Islam. This article will also help you realize that you may be in a toxic relationship.
Convert Sisters, Make Sure he Is Not Using You
Some Muslim men may try to take advantage of you as a convert. Maybe they want to use you for a green card or get you to do something sexual with them.
Convert Sisters or even non-Muslim women, don't fall for a Muslim guy who just wants to have sex with you. I have been told more times than I can count that if a Muslim man has sex with you before marriage, it is highly likely he will never marry you. Once he gets what he wants, he will leave you.
Another thing I have seen with Convert Women marrying this the type of Muslim Man is that he make take advantage of her in the marriage. Some men are very controlling and will take advantage that you have no family. That way they can control your every move, as if you are their puppet.
Sometimes a Muslim Man will marry a Convert because he will not have to pay a large Dowry or he may not have to provide you with as much (a wedding, house, clothes, food etc.)
If you are already in a relationship, that will not stop some Muslim Men from trying to contact you. You can literally have a picture with your spouse in your profile picture and they will still send you messages. Even recently I have received "I am so upset that you are not single."
Brothers, do not confuse us Converts with a pre-pubescent girl that knows nothing about life. Do NOT confuse our innocence, or lack there of, with ignorance or stupidity.
Brothers, Do Not Tell A Woman How to Live, Feel, or Dress
Some brothers will tell you that your clothes are too tight or that you should be wearing the hijab. I have no idea why a man should have anything to say about the way a woman dresses. The way a woman dresses is between her and God alone. She does not need a third party opinion.
Convert Sister, Protect Yourself From These men
Convert Sisters, if you are in a relationship with someone like this, I would advise you to get out now. I promise you you will get through it eventually. You still have Islam and you still have Allah. There will always be a community of converts offering support online.
Converts May Have Had a Rough Past
Brothers, get over it!
Brothers, you have no right to judge the past of the girl. No one in the entire universe is perfect. Many Muslim Converts may have had a bad past. Many converts left all that behind for the straight path. It is not your right to judge them or bring it up. The only one who should judge a convert, is God, and God alone.
To me, I find it amazing how far a convert has come to better their life. It is a beautiful thing and not something bad.
In conclusion;
Brothers, if any of this sounds like you, you need to stop.
Overall Convert Sisters, I want to advise you to try to be with a man that fears Allah (God in Arabic). Just because a guy knows a lot about Islam or memorized the whole Quran, that doesn't make him good enough. Look out for the signs.
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